Life is cruel

2nd May 2012
I woke up late again today. But luckily I was able to get a flight ticket yesterday and I was able to print out the flight details today. I was also able to fill up my water bottle after days without fresh water. So I guess everything is alright now.

Cedric just told me today that he was already accepted to do an internship with OCBC and he said he email his resume directly to the hiring manager and got the job without any interview. He was so lucky and I guess most of the people around me are very lucky. As for me, because I don't have any friends or relative that work in this field so I have to work hard and fight this was alone. Seeing how others are success really makes me jealous. But I think I will keep on fighting or maybe this is just another chance to let me plan my future again properly. So all I need to do now is to think positively and work harder than anyone else.

At first I thought that I was completely ready to pack and go back to Malaysia but now when I look around my room I realize that although most of my stuff are packed properly on one side but there are still a lot of things that I have not manage to stuff it into my bag such as my comforter and my pillows that I am using now. I also have a lot of clothes that need to be watched and packed before I go back and there are a lot of things that belongs to our house that haven't been at all as well. Guess the packing process starts again....

I applied to Maxis today and a few other company and my mom got a reply that they receive my resume from Maxis. I hope that I will be able to get an internship from the companies that I applied to. To be honest, some of my friends did not get an interview at all and I was able to get one interview so I do have a little luck but luck is not going to get me anywhere... Actually, how did mom manage her life when she was about my age???

When I look back at all the diaries that I had written so far most of them are so long that I doubt that I will have the patient to write them down on paper. But since I was typing it, things seems to be a lot easier. No one need to read my diaries and this is a diary after all but if someone did read it, I don't think it is that much of a big deal.

I called the health center today and the receptionist ask me to call back another time at 9am so I will do so first thing tomorrow morning but if I still can't contact them to cancel the appointment made on 31st May 2012, I will need to go directly to the health center and cancel it.

I want to surpass my friends so I want to be greedy and take more or study more paper than them. Preparing for FM paper and MFE at the same time, will it be alright? Also I need to continue my self learn on C++ and start on SQL. I will also need to learn more about Excel and also access. Guess the learning process will never end.

Life is cruel and things don't usually go the way that we want. From Big Windup, I learn that we can active three of our brain hormones every during meal time. First, we look on our food and think how tasty it is and we are able to eat such tasty food. This is focusing on the future. Then we concentrate on the present when we eat the food and taste how delicious it is. Lastly, we will be able to recall the tasty feel and the feel of satisfaction after we finish the food. That way we can train our brain to be more motivated and to concentrate more and also to be more positive thinking.

One more thing is that we can condition our self to do something. So if I were to condition myself on something so that I can concentrate on my study then I think I will be able to improve myself better. All of this is like training our muscle so if I do this everyday then I will be able to obtain a good habit and make a huge step ahead.

So work hard!! And one thing, I also learn about events and debugging in C++ today so the next lesson is tutorial three. Yes! I am getting more and more excited~~~~